From the archive

You like the truth until it's about you

Tone can be awful. Criticism can be inaccurate, malicious, or simply stupid. You don't have to agree with every asshole who calls an insult feedback. But it's convenient to use one rude sentence to throw away the entire conversation. They raised their voice, so I no longer have to answer for what they were talking about. Excellent. Now all you need to do is drive them to shouting, and you're innocent again. I find it useful to separate two questions: how are they speaking to me, and is anything they're describing something I actually do? Sometimes both answers are unpleasant.