From the archive

You're not a good person. You're just afraid of conflict

The worst part starts after the first refusal. You might feel ashamed. You'll want to send five more messages explaining yourself, offer to make it up to them, and eventually say yes after all. You can do none of that. Let the conversation end. See whether the relationship actually falls apart or whether, for the first time, you've simply stopped performing your usual function. Some people will take your “no” perfectly calmly. Some might even start understanding you better. And some really will disappear, because their interest ended the moment the free service did. That's a shame. But at least now you know who you were actually dealing with.