From the archive

You're defending it because you've already spent five years on it

Try taking your biography out of the conversation. Imagine being offered this exact job, this exact relationship, this exact project today. On the current terms. With the current people. Knowing everything you know now. Would you say yes? If not, it helps to identify what's keeping you there. Obligations? Money? People who depend on you? Those are real issues that need a plan. Or are you staying because you need to look like someone who got everything right five years ago? You can bury a lot of your actual life trying to protect that appearance.